leftheart

After a couple days things get clearer. I thank everything which brings me here.
看到了別人的結，打開了自己的（一個）結。心情很愉快，真是很幸運。

跟大動物媽媽吃完早餐後在洞穴裡思考了許多，並且記錄下來，覺得很快樂。
這樣的感覺也是呼應雜誌上的內容（主題：重要的獨處時光）
終極的目標還要繼續思考，但中期或許可以先從搜尋研究各大非政治非營利組織開始。

人與人的相會：在洞穴用功區，
斜對面坐了一個偶爾翻雜誌、偶爾用手繪版很認真畫圖的男生，氣質是我喜歡的類型。
矇矇快沒電了，忘記帶充電線，看到桌子中間伸出了一條充電線，於是開口跟他借。
他說好，不過這是什麼什麼吧（聽不懂專有名詞）我試了發現不合，就說沒關係謝謝。
他把線接過去拔掉接頭，噢原來這樣就可以了。
然後我繼續看雜誌想事情寫筆記，度過了有一點點肚子餓但很平靜的下午。
準備離開的時候矇矇也睡飽了。我問他直接拔掉就可以了嗎，他說對，我跟他說謝謝。
整理好書包，把雜誌和茶杯歸位，我跟他說謝謝再見之前，他先對我微笑揮揮手。
喜歡這樣互不相識但平淡溫暖的相遇，陌生人，謝謝你 :)

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I know I get more in myself when deleting all the reasoning.
At the end of the day, correct, today and everyday, it's me who matters.
I can't fully get rid of comments, but no loner seeking to be everyone's darling.

Yesterday was a long day.
An accidents triggered an unofficial (3) year-end review,
which I highly appreciated.

TBC:
- What do you want? What do you want to be?

Cleared:
- 看上不看下：預先分出了上下，才會覺得別人看（自己的）上不看（自己的）下。
But 1) You never know (I like smart, funny, knowledgable people);
2) shitty-job theory.

- Shitty job theory: many (if not all) things are just like a "shitty job",
or 圍城 in a better manner.
e.g. Someone became VP in Z company.
People in Z: Oh how can this guy from blue take this important job! Ridiculous!
People outside of Z: Is he crazy? This is a shitty job! Do him no good at all!

- So lucky in an industry with little luck
EY: sexual harrasment cases in the office.
LY: boss declared retirement aka very likely job vanished.
PO: insane, unprofessional boss.
From time to time I doubt if my job is really great,
and from time to time I learn how apparently others are just shitty.
I don't think I was wrong at those times thinking them might be a chance.
But looking back I'm grateful that I just didn't join them for any reason.

- skills developing (talent nurturing from the company's pov)
I don't know whether I'm doing a good or poor job
because I hardly get any feedback from the management.
I don't know why they keep it secret and seldom comment.
Maybe it's becuase analysis reflects value sets & judgement that couldn't be taught.
If it's born to be, then why workers bother to pull effort practice and learn better skills?
(Maybe just experience? but are judgement automatically improved with time?)